I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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