I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
