So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
