i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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