it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
