I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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