I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
