im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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