I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
3 2 1 whiskey
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
