I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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