She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
