He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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