How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
