He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
