i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
