Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
