"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize