STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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