They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
