Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize