that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
