yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
