how can u be prego again
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
