I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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