just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize