why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
