it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
