Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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