and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
