Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
