yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
