look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize