I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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