question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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