he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
