Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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