"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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