covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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