considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
