Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
