Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
