I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
