I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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