My brain says no but my pants say off.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
