Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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