we made out on top of his cat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Farmville is her only friend.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
