My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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