Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
