just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Enjoy the penises
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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