I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
