But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
