In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
