I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
