i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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