It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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