I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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