I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize