I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
do nipples grow back?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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