to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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