My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
