I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
