"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
