Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
