worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize